


Grim grin

by darkrogue1 (Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse)



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-20
Updated: 2008-02-20
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse/pseuds/darkrogue1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuuri wishes to understand how Conrad can still smile, in that kind of situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grim grin

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://yomu.livejournal.com/profile)[**yomu**](http://yomu.livejournal.com/) (http://community.livejournal.com/conradcentric/22195.html)
> 
> AN : I had two new ideas about Conrad’s smile recently. This is one of them ( the shortest to write ^^… the other is yet another multi-chaptered idea so I don’t know if I’ll write it anytime soon). Then I saw the topic on Conrad centric and it prompted me to write it.

" Why do you smile ? " Yuuri asked after he had witnessed yet another small clash between Cheri’s two youngest sons.

Still smiling, Conrad had looked at him with uncomprehending eyes and Yuuri had felt anger rise against that smile. It was hiding everything Conrad might feel from others, and it was making it look as if Conrad did not care. Maybe he did not.

But Yuuri did not like this idea ; he needed to know so he asked again.

" How can you still smile ? " His voice raised a notch with annoyance and resentment.  " When people say something like this… when Wolfram does… how, why ?! " Yuuri was desperate to know.

" Ah…" Conrad’s face lit up in understanding.  " Well, I’ve heard -- and confirmed it by experience since -- that a lot of people stop harassing others when they smile back at them, or at least in most cases it stays at that and doesn’t get worse. "

But Yuuri shook his head. Something sounded off in Conrad‘s explanation. " But how can you do it, Conrad ? Whatever the reason, how ? Doesn’t it hurt ? Aren‘t you ever angry ? I don‘t understand Conrad."

The older half-demon looked at his king with sad eyes and his still slight smile : this was something he did not want to share, especially with Yuuri. But in front of the young man’s pleading black eyes there was nothing much he could hide.

"It hurts." He admitted in a much smaller voice, almost a whisper so that their conversation would remain privy to only them. " Of course it hurts, every time I hear things like this, every time I see human and half-human scorned despite… despite their love for this country."

Yuuri saw a flash of distant pain pass behind Conrad’s eyes and his eyes widened for a second in reaction : Conrad must be thinking of them, Ruthenberg’s army.

" It  hurts a lot, especially when I hear things like this from my younger brother‘s mouth." And Yuuri winced : from how it hurt him every time the two brothers clashed, he only could imagine how Conrad might feel.

But Conrad went on, his voice lower still, and Yuuri sensed he was sharing a very personal secret. " In those moments the reason why I can still smile is I’m already dead. "

Yuuri opened his mouth, shocked, ready to exclaim his horror and incomprehension, but Conrad held a hand in front of him to prevent him from doing so, and he explained.

" In my heart I believe I already died.  That day, in that place I should have died. " He placed a hand on his own chest, grasping at a place where there was nothing anymore." I was saved, but it was close, too close… so in moments like this I tell myself I died in that place, all those years ago. Then I can smile, because they are only words, they can’t reach me since I’m already dead. "

Conrad looked up in Yuuri’s sad pained eyes and smiled a reassuring heartfelt smile. " But I also know I’m alive and I’m grateful for it, which means that every time I encounter a bright moment in my life or see happy people around my I smile too.  And I intend to keep smiling happily until the next time I die."

Yuuri had a timid smile then, still pained from what he had just heard Conrad say but still eased by the man’s warm smile.

" Try to do so that it will be in a very long time then, all right Conrad ? "

And when Conrad nodded, smiling, Yuuri smiled again in return, relieved.  



End file.
